We might save you from fumbling this football season.
Sure, there are many reasons to look forward to autumn.
The temperatures are finally cooling off, and the holidays are around the corner.
Credit: Southern Living, September 1968
However, in the South, fall marks the start of one of our favorite things:football season.
The idea of I dont watch football doesnt make a whole lot of sense to us.
As youre gearing up for your next watch party, its best to arrive prepared.
Here are seven things you should never say to a Southerner duringfootball season.
“It’s just a game.”
Southerners, in fact, do get worked up about itand always will.
Give time to mourn, and theyll be in better spirits in no time.
Well, unless it was the National Championshipor even more so, the SEC Championship.
“What’s the SEC?”
Speaking of the SEC, odds are Southerners arent talking about any government agency.
Were talking about the Southeastern Conference, which a majority of Southern universities football teams are part of.
Youre in for a heated debate, even though most Southerners are in agreement on the answer.
Planning awedding in the Southduring football season can be delicate, and you have to consider your guests allegiances.
“Can’t you record it and watch it later?”
Not to mention, the results will be spoiled instantly by friends and family.
Why do you still care?
You went there decades ago.
Southerners live by loyalty, and loyalty knows no expiration date.
That goes for many things in life, including our sworn allegiances to a football team.
I root for whoever has the cutest costumes, or the best team colors.
As much as we can appreciate a cool uniform, this is a red flag for Southerners.
Per our intense loyalty, we dont much like fair-weather fans.
As the old saying goes, if you stand for nothing, youll fall for anything.
“Can we change the TV channel now?”
For those reasons, we have to watch until the end, just to be safe.
