We just might save you from putting your foot in your mouth.
There are more than a couple of rules to follow when you’re talking to a Southerner.
)Southerners have some expectations, both spoken and unspoken, for conversation in the South.
From food to football to gardening, there are a fewphrasesyou should never utter.
Use our helpful list to prepare yourself for future conversations and avoid any linguistic faux pas.
The odds are that they’ll be too polite to take offense.
“I don’t know how to cook.”
In the South, there’s no excuse for this one.
“That’s not a salad.
Where’s the lettuce?”
We are nothing if not generous when it comes to deeming a cold combination of ingredients a salad.
If it’s got fruit cocktail,gelatin, or marshmallows stirred together, it counts.
“Miracle Whip and mayonnaise are the same thing.”
“Can’t I just send a thank-you text?”
Sure, if you want Aunt Louise to roll over in her grave.
No, a text will not suffice, no matter how nicely the gratitude is expressed.
If you want to thank someone, do it properly, witha handwritten noteon good stationery.
“Have to run.
I’m in a hurry.”
No matter where we are in the South, we take our time.
“That was your father’s recipe?
It could’ve used a little more seasoning.”
We’re not overly sensitive folkunless you criticize a family recipe.
Then, it’s all hell, fire, and brimstone for you.
Because when it comes to cooking, our Southern chefs nail it every time.
“I’ll never have a green thumb.”
Second of all, most Southerners feel about gardening the way we feel about cooking.
You’ll never learn if you don’t practice.
(You should also never utter this in the presence of our Southern garden expert, the Grumpy Gardener.
It’s bound to make him grumpier.
“I’m going to turn in early.”
If there’s an opportunity to visit with each other, Southerners are going to take it.
“Is unsweet okay?”
Thank you, kindly, but no, unsweet is not okay.
We’ll just have the lemonade instead.
“I’m not hungry.”
Our Southern families know that food equals love.
Don’t even think about telling her that you’re not hungry.
“SEC who?”
Any variation of “I don’t watch football” will probably be met with a blank stare.
Fall is for football.
Talking about it, watching it, andprepping for tailgating partiestakes up most of our time.
“You all”
We have a contraction for that.
“Y’all” is time-testedand scientifically proven.
And it just sounds so friendly.
